If The Fall/Winter 2011 Collections Were High School Students

Ann Demeulemeester sits in the corner, reading Sylvia Plath and listening to death metal. She tells everyone that she hates the conformists at school, but deep down inside she wishes that Tommy the football hero would go to prom with her.

Band of Outsiders has carefully cultivated her reputation as the effortlessly cool grungey girl who doesn't give a shit. Her trust fund is her greatest shame.

Carolina Herrera regrets getting kicked out of private school for rigging the class election. She hates all of the peons here.

Marc Jacobs just transferred from a school in 1950's Berlin in a parallel universe. She is deeply confused by the local customs.

Marchesa is the prom queen. She will shock everyone next year when she drops out to become a tattoo artist.

MM6 Maison Martin Margiela x Opening Ceremony just spent the night at her boyfriend's house. His parents are out of town.

Rodarte takes the bus to school from her family's farm every morning. She's a social outcast but all the boys are secretly in love with her.

Caught Between Love and Hate: Lil Wayne's Teddy Bear Sneakers

Sometimes, I know that I have strong feelings about something but I don't yet know whether these are feelings of overwhelming love or overwhelming hate. Examples: Tyra Banks, "Sister Wives" (that's a lie, I love "Sister Wives"), most Usher songs. This is one of those times.

I was bewildered today, when using iTunes homeshare, to discover that my dad has a Lil Wayne song in his iTunes library that I don't own. Now, I'm not a huge Lil Wayne fan, but this worried me. Is my 56 year old father (sorry for publishing your age on the internet, Dad!) more up to date with the pop culture of today's youth than I am? Am I no longer cool? (Okay, I was never cool, but humour me here.)

But my quarter-life crisis aside (it's probably more of a fifth-of-a-life crisis thanks to modern medical advances, but I digress), the main reason that Lil Wayne is on my mind today are the Jeremy Scott x Adidas Originals by Originals shoes he wore on New Years Eve.

Weezy (that's what the kids are calling him, right?) rocking the aforementioned shoes.

(Photo from upscalehype.com)

Dudes. They're freaking TEDDY BEAR shoes.

(Photo from upscalehype.com)

LOVE:

-They are TEDDY BEARS in shoe form.

-You could wear them with a super-jazzy dress and people would be all "Nice outfit! [glancing down] Oh..."

-They're adorable. I JUST WANT TO PINCH THEIR TINY, FURRY CHEEKS.

-The muted colour palette is very Phoebe Philo (you know, if Phoebe Philo designed stuffed animal shoes).

-They're like bunny slippers, but you can wear them in public without being judged. Okay, with slightly less judgement.

HATE:

-They are TEDDY BEARS in shoe form.

-They're actually really ugly.

-The decapitated bear heads look like they're crying out for help behind the smiles.

-They're over $300. That's a lot of chedder, yo. (That's not remotely current slang, is it? I give up. MY FATHER IS MORE CULTURALLY RELEVANT THAN I AM.)

Verdict: Love. I don't care what you say, world. These are awesome.

Inspiration - Pretty, Meet Punk

I've really been feeling a sort of return to pretty lately. I'm totally in love with the grungey, edgy looks of the last few seasons, but part of me is ready to see clothes that are purely pretty make their return (like those in Badgely Mischka's super glam S/S 2011 show). I really like the idea of doing pretty looks with an edge.

(clockwise from top centre: Giles Spring 2011, style.com; "Orphan" by Sam Winston, Wallpaper.com; Jessica Miller photographed by Carter Smith, fashiongonerogue.com; Chanel Spring 2011, style.com; No Magazine, fashiongonerogue.com; Vogue Turkey, January 2011, fashiongonerogue.com. Also, I'm a total loser and can't remember where I found the background image is from. If anyone recognizes it and can help a girl out that would be amazing.)

The solution to all of life's problems

Fact: I seldom wear pants. There's not any real reason for it, I just find myself wearing leggings and skirts more. I'm known in some circles as "the girl who doesn't wear pants."

Fact: I live in Canada. It's cold here. Especially in winter. It's winter right at this exact moment in time.

So my world was rocked the other day when I discovered these little suckers:

Plush tights, $35 at Shop Bop

They're fleece-lined tights! How ridiculously cool is that? Screw penicillen (seriously, I'm allergic to it and so I always had to have this gross strawberry medicine when I had ear infections as a child instead of the delicious banana-flavoured, penicillen-containing stuff), this is the greatest innovation of our time.

(Come to think of it, penicillen probably doesn't count as being part of our time. Hmm...Facebook? That singing mouse they cloned, which is disgusting, by the way? Beyonce's "Single Ladies" video? Whatever, this blows them all out of the water.)

(Also, lately I've been using parentheses like they're going out of style. I'd better kick this habit before school starts up again.)

Oh, Coco.

This makes me happy when skies are grey.

From the January 2011 issue of Elle Itailia. Shot by Michael Sanders and styled by Alberto Zanoletti. Taken from Fashion Gone Rogue.

Men of the world: I don't care what you think of my drop crotch pants.

Friends, I have been so late in joining the Man Repeller love (I just found out about the blog the other day. If you, like me, have been living under a rock, give it a read; it’s pretty awesome). Reading it has definitely made me think (which is really upsetting because it’s winter break and I’ve been trying to avoid thinking.)

I think ladymag articles informing women that men don’t like certain garments miss the point. I love that they always think that this is news to us. “What? Boys don’t find harem pants hot? I thought they loved the way these pants make my butt look horrendously misshapen!”

Shocker: These outfits aren't ideal for trolling for boys. (All pictures from The Sartorialist.)

I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but I think I’ll make one anyway. Dear magazines (and I love you, you should know that), I would say that 99% of women know how to dress to impress the average guy, if we choose to. We are smart enough to realize that (most) guys think we look better in a low-cut bandage dress than in jeggings and a sweater with linebacker shoulder pads.

Frankly, I wear what I do because it makes me happy. I might pick an outfit because it reminds me of a collection I liked, because I feel confident in it, or just because I like the way it looks. Women dress the way we do for all kinds of reasons. And yeah, some girls get dressed in the morning with the sole objective of impressing guys. That’s totally fine. But I don’t like when (usually female) writers for magazines act as if that’s all fashion’s about.

Gentleman, don’t get me wrong. I want you to think I’m pretty (or at least not repulsively unattractive). I want you to be impressed by my sparkling personality. I want to make you laugh. But I couldn’t give a damn what you think about my wardrobe.*

*Unless, of course, you are one of the super-cool, hyper-judgemental gay men who hangs out on the steps I pass on my way to campus. I really want you to think I’m cool so we can become best friends and give bitchy looks to passers-by together (you know, like the ones you give me when I’m on my way back from the gym and I’m wearing yoga pants and an old tee and have sweat dripping down my face?) and tell each other secrets and buy coffees and laugh uproariously together. You guys just look like a lot of fun.

Inspiration: Grunge

Images from (clockwise from top left:) Elle Sweden, fashiongonerogue.com, The Cobra Snake, Sassy, allmoviephotos.com, drmartens.com)